Today, I had an intimate moment with a mirror—LOL OMG that sounded so bad!!! HAHAHAHA! Anyway… green jokes aside, I just have a few things to say for today because, a realization hit me. Again.

So here it goes.
Sometimes, I’ll look at myself and I’ll be in a state of shock—don’t worry, I’m not referencing on how I’m such a beautiful creature; though that’s actually a tempting thought. LOL.

Anyway. Yeah. I am often in ‘awe’ because I realize by and by just how much I’ve grown up. Not only on the outside, but inside as well. Like… really. If I try to recall the person that I was before, I would either start laughing or cursing. Because I was really naive. Immature. Reckless.

Yet I know that I have no right to say that I no longer have those characteristics now because it would only be my own perception… but I do know at least, that I am better.

Yet actually, I must say that I still have that inner darkness. A certain evil that I sometimes can’t control, making me do things that I would never be proud of… and I’m certainly afraid of that part of me. No matter how I try to be patient and kind, there’s always something that I might do or say. Well… Maybe it’s just me, it’s just how I am; acting haphazardly and rash as per usual. But it still bothers me—I can just about hear my friends’ joking commentary about how I should start praying already so that the devil would stop living in me. Haha!

It’s a comical thing to say but at times, I believe it. Besides, I’m not much of a religious person. I’m an agnostic even. But hey, I do believe in God. And maybe… and I guess, I should pray a lot more; believe a whole lot more. Don’t you think? No matter the case, we all have our own dark alter ego, our own crazy side… I know I’m not alone on this. However, the fact remains that I want to control this.

Anyhow, I love the ‘me’ that I am today. I really do; a love that is a whole lot bigger than the love that I had towards the ‘me’ from yesterday. LOL narcissism much?

-sigh-

It’s funny how life can beat us, twist us, break us and shit, that in return it makes us worse or makes us do something way out of our wits; but instead of getting defeated, most of us rather triumph and become better beings. Polished and fierce! …And I’m just simply happy that I’m one of those people. :)

…and yes, that was what the magic mirror told me. *bows*

/ends failed attempt at trying to be funny and serious at the same time

This morning, I attended a 2-hour seminar with Archbishop Oscar Cruz as he discussed about the canonical aspects of marriage with us, the TREDFOR students. And you know what…? After that seminar, I was clearly… disappointed.

For one thing I am irritated by the fact that priests still do have a traditional view on things… I don’t know if ‘traditional’ is the right word for it; maybe ‘narrow-mindedness’ would be better? Or maybe ‘conservatives’? But either way, some of the things he said were matters that I can never agree with.

The very first thing that he mentioned and had greatly reacted about is on the issue of SAME SEX MARRIAGE. His main argument was that it wasn’t natural for both sexes to be together because they can never be one—which is in simpler words: they can never perform the ‘natural’ way of how male and female have sex. My take on that? Why, Archbishop? Is marriage all about reproducing, sex, or making babies? Is marriage all about these conventional things? He really made it sound like we’re breeding machines on autopilot with the mighty goal of only procreation alone. And since gays and lesbians alike can’t ‘reproduce’ with their partner, then it isn’t something natural and acceptable. He might as well say that love isn’t natural.

So in a nutshell, if I were to sum up Archbishop Cruz’s points then by the Catholic law, marriage should be about procreation alone. And so… here’s what I say, if same-sex couples would be denied of the opportunity to marry because they cannot have children together then it follows that all couples as well who cannot and will not have children will be denied of marriage as well. Right? What a pile of bull…

The next thing he pointed out was that those who are impotent (with erectile dysfunction and all other malfunctioning of our reproductive organs) should NOT marry. Because they, yet again, can’t procreate with their partner. CAN YOU SEE THE PATTERN HERE? Thank God for the girl who came up and clarified the matter with the Archbishop. She said:

“Father, can you explain yet again the issue of impotence? Why should couples who are impotent not allowed to be married? I thought marriage is about wanting to be with the person because you just want to live together despite whatever faults or imperfections that each of you may have?”

And then Archbishop Cruz went on to explain yet again that those who are impotent can never bear children blah blah blah. I think you get the drift now. And you know what? I don’t know if there was another way of explaining the Church’s side, or his side, or that maybe he had a hard time explaining his point. But the thought, I think, remains the same. And that’s just too wrong. Those people who are impotent did not choose to be impotent, it’s not their fault, and then barring them or advising them to not marry is the best advice that the Church can give them? It’s like telling those who are impotent that because they lack the procreational ability then they should just live ALONE from now on.

And lastly, since it has been such an ongoing controversy in our country then of course we touched the topic of the RH BILL. Archbishop Cruz argued that they do not like the RH Bill because it gives people the chance to separate the joy of sexual activities from the sorrow of doing sexual activities when in fact, joy and sorrow should go together—he’s basically saying that with contraceptives, you give the people the chance to be masters of their own acts when they should actually learn that by doing sexual activities, they should bear the consequences and not prevent it. I don’t know, I can’t explain it well but I think that’s basically the thought.

So… I get his point. I really do. And I even agree with him that it’s corruption that’s driving this country down to being downright poor and not entirely because of the population. But he has to face the facts that it’s time we give the poor and those who do not have access to sexual education the right to finally gain informed decisions and options. He should know that there are a lot of people who suffer and who want to prevent having children anymore because their standard of living can’t support such a consequence any longer. Additionally, with the RH bill, we can also help improve the health of mothers.

*Also, he said that having more children is good because the government can then give more incentives—but Father, facts show that these incentives are basically non-existent here in our country. 

-sigh- I just woke up and so I’m still in siesta-mode that’s why I think I can’t seem to state my strong points against this matter. But…. I just really, really want to point out that the RH bill just wanted people to have access to other options so that their lives, their family’s living, and the like will not be put on the line. Because I know that the poor people unlike those who are on the upper classes have not much of an idea as to what they should do with regard to reproductive issues. So I think it’s time we give them that chance to actually learn things right.

Well… that’s basically what happened in my morning today. I actually have a yes-no sentiment towards the RH Bill but with the other aspects that Archbishop argued about—same sex marriage and impotence—those are the issues that I will never agree on and am very disappointed about.

Of course, this may only be Archbishop Cruz’s sentiments and that the Church and its other priests and officials might have another standpoint or have a better way of explaining their claims… but clearly, Archbishop Cruz today had sent us this message. And me and my friends weren’t happy about it.

We just weren’t.
And that’s just how we see it.

Surely, I respect Archbishop for his views—he has a right for that—but those are but just some of the reasons that make me sad about our Church and religion. I don’t expect you, my reader, to side on me as well on this one because I know that not all of us feel the same. So all the same, I also hope you respect me as well for my take on this matter.

I really just think that it’s time we have equal rights and that such limits can be eradicated. Old views are called ‘old’ for a reason… 

I’m rambling. Oh well :|

…we were discussing about our purpose in life and who we really are.
TYPICAL TOPIC IN THEOLOGY.

BUT… It got interesting when our professor, who was a priest, started talking about this certain UP student, Melissa Magno. I don’t know the authenticity of the story since Google doesn’t have any record of it but anyway here it was:

Melissa Magno was a child who has everything. Intelligence, beauty, riches, and the like. She was a student of UP and had a very incredible school record. Ever since she was little, she would always go up the stage her academic excellence. Apart from that, she was also the president of a lot of organizations in UP. She also had a very loving family who was rich.

Her life was like this: she partied hard, and studied hard.
Every night she would go to parties, arrive at her dorm/condo at around 4AM and then catch her 8AM class at UP. During weekends she would come home to spend time with her parents.

One day, during dinner, her mom called her down but Melissa said that she would come in a while. While eating, they heard a gunshot from her room. In a hurry, they rushed to Melissa’s room and there they found her holding her father’s gun in her hand and a bullet mark on her wall. Her father asked her what she was doing and Melissa said that she was practicing target shooting because she was about to become a higher-up in a certain organization in school that was involved in that activity. They laughed about it and her father told her that he would take her to target shooting next time and that she shouldn’t try it there in her room.

On another day which was a month later, during dinner, just as the same thing, her mom called her down but Melissa said she will come in a while. While eating, they heard yet a gain a gunshot. Melissa’s father laughed and said that Melissa might be playing again. But Melissa’s mother felt that something was wrong this time.

To quote my professor: “They said that mothers have a sixth sense aside from their nonsense.”

(LOL okay, joke time. Now on with the story)

So her mother rushed to her room and there she found Melissa lying in her pool of blood and a gunshot to her heart. They found a note and this was the content:

“Dear Mom and Dad,

Please don’t think that I did this because I don’t love you—I love you two very much. But I had to do this because I don’t find any meaning in life anymore. After I graduate, what’s next? Me taking a job, getting married, having kids and then eventually… death. I don’t get it at all.

I’m not happy and I’m tired. And I’m sorry, Mom and Dad. In my wake, please don’t cry because I am now at ease.

Love, Melissa.”

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