'Aileen' is a twenty-one-year-old blogger from the Philippines who is happily taken ♥ and living life at its best.
She was born and raised in Batanes but currently living in the bustling city of Manila where she is a
superwoman corporate woman by day, a blogger and homebody by night, and a wild spirit come weekends.
She likes lazying around, traveling, eating different cuisines, writing nonsense as well as those with sense, being weird, laughing ridiculously, city lights, partying, blah blah blah. And she is very much in love with Jonas ♥
She is interested in fashion, music, arts, desserts, internet, dancing, sleeping, and singing. And oh, she misses Batanes with a passion. ★
All content © Aileen unless otherwise specified (e.g. reblogs, etc.). For further info, refer to my disclaimer.
I do things in my own way, and I’ve never felt the need to rebel. In other people’s eyes, they would probably say that I have done things because I wanted to prove a point, or that I needed to express my anger, my frustration, my whatever.
But for me… such wasn’t the case.
It just never really worked that way.
Okay, sure… I had the urge sometimes to call some of it as rebellion—but I never felt like I have done those things because I have—for instance—the intent to defy a generally accepted convention here in our country.
No. Just… no.
I do things—just because I want to.
It was that simple. I don’t have time to think of anything else.
And to be honest, I think I’ve had too much freedom anyway—or to be more precise: I have ‘trained’ my parents to live and deal with a free-willed daughter.
I lived comfortably in my early years. I did have a rough life though, having to deal with problematic family settings and dark secrets. But I learned to accept all of it. As years passed, living comfortably shifted. And then, I think I grew up too fast. I would often realize that I think differently than others my own age. Later on, I started to work at around the age of 17. I started living on my own when I was 19—I had to force my mom to let me. (Lol). I then started to earn my own money. Meager it could be, but I’m not complaining. I make do. I am contented with what I have.
So all I think of is: “What would I rebel against? My childhood? My education? My independence? My job? My problems? No. Why would I do that? What’s the point in all that?”
I have what I have. I am who I am. Sometimes it can be hard, and I think, it still is. But it’s alright. And now, as a 21-year-old, I can say that I’m living a good life. I have it good, because I chose to look at it that way, and also because, I think I do have it good. I’m still learning as I go, making mistakes here and there, getting slumped once in a while—yet, all of that drama is welcome. It’s inevitable anyway. You just have to roll with the punches.
So yeah. I don’t need to rebel. And I don’t think anyone needs to. We may have our own reasons, our own stories, but there’s no need to complicate life more than it already is. Just have fun, live like how you want to, and just let go.
The second time you fall in love with someone, it’s going to feel different. The first time felt like a dream almost. You were untouched, untainted by anyone. You accepted love with wide open arms and desperation. “Love me, love me, love me!” So you did. And then it fell apart and left you shocked to the core. You realized that people could be cruel and break your heart. You realized that people could stop meaning the sweet things they said to you just yesterday. So when you go into it again, you’re going to keep in mind everything that you’ve learned. You’re going to say, “Love me, love me, love me…until you don’t. In which case, I would like some advance warning. Thanks!”
The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to compare it to your first love. That’s okay. That’s natural. You’re going to be studying the new love with judgement and wariness. “My ex never liked broccoli. Why the hell does this one eat so much broccoli?!” Discovering that you have the ability to love multiple people who are different and feel different is initially very jarring. Loving an unfamiliar body will leave you disoriented and in dire need of a map. That’s okay too. That’s to be expected. Just ask the new love for directions.
The second time you fall in love with someone, you’re going to suffer from a bout of amnesia. You’re going to poke and prod at your lover’s body and be like, “Wait, how do I do this again? How do I love you? I think it starts with us having a moment together in some coffee shop, right?” It’s going to feel scary at first. Falling in love is sort of like riding a bike though. You never really forget.
The second time you fall in love with someone, you’ll be a more sane person. Your first love is when you get all of your insanity out. You behave like an insane monster because your mind is freaking out about all these new powerful feelings. By the second time, however, you have an idea of what works and what doesn’t. It’s by no means perfect. The insanity will make a cameo at some point. “Peek a boo. I’m here! Hope you didn’t forget about me!” But you can usually shoo it away after awhile.
The second time you fall in love with someone, you will hopefully have better sex. Do not quote me on this.
The second time you fall in love with someone will still be exciting and you might even talk about moving in together or marriage. It will feel more “adult.” You have no idea what adult love actually is but you think it involves making coffee for each other in the morning and maybe even getting a dog. “This is my dog, Xan. I got him with the second person I fell in love with because that’s what you do! The first person I was in love with would’ve killed a dog.”The second time will not be the first time. The first time is an insane magical life gift that you can never reclaim. But that’s okay. The second time is more real anyway. The second time can involve some amazing love.
Thanks to my boyfriend, I discovered this band. :) They’re really great!
…and sorry if my reply came in late. I actually can’t remember what last thing I might have told you. Haven’t been as active online as before.